Desi-delata

Ni Ka Ambo

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember to pay the jeepney driver before you get off.

As far as possible, when you’re in Quiapo, hide all jewelry. Speak of your purchases clearly but quietly; listen and be wary of others, even the cigarette vendors; they too belong to crime syndicates.

Avoid pickpockets and purse snatchers; they can outrun you any time of day.

If you compare yourself to others, you are a true Filipino; for there can never be a greater person than yourself.

Enjoy all the shopping centers as well as the malls. Keep wondering in your own mind, Where are all these people from? and What are they buying? The fact is they’re all home; they were the squatters living there before the new MegaMall was erected.

Exercise caution in your business affairs; you will definitely be a victim of estafa. But let this not blind you to the fact that you can also estafa somebody else.

Be like your movie idol; especially, do not feign seduction and come-ons. Neither be cynical about immorality; for in the face of all TV and movie screens, they all engage in wife-swapping and extra-marital affairs.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, to the nearest plastic surgeon just around the corner.

Abandon strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with reality and paranoia. Much happiness is born of delusion and ignorance, and there is always a Shabu dealer lurking nearby.

Beyond church, don’t be surprised if Cardinal Sin runs for Prez. You are a child of the Philippines, no less than the Marcoses or the Cojuangcos; you have a right to ignore graft and corruption. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt they have no interest in your welfare and rights.

Therefore, be at peace with Authority, in whatever manifestation He appears, and whatever your labors and position. In the noisy confusion of life, make sure you observe all their laws:
With all the NPAs, communists, and perverted politicians, "salvage" is still their word for you.

Be creative. Strive to get a visa ... Anywhere.

"Desi-delata" is a "canned" (delata) Filipino guide by Ambrosio Liwasan, created for the benefit of mga taong walang magawa sa buhay at batong-bato na. The desire to return is always there, but we also have to think about others who are dear to us, they who are still unwilling to accept that it is not where you are but who you are: A World-Class Filipino … Be Proud …’bo